Friday, February 17, 2017

This Just In: Winter Recess!



(We're gonna need a bigger monument.)

As you know by now, as a curator of human children I am at the mercy of the schedule of the New York City Department of Education, at least until such time as: A) My human children finish or leave school and start earning their goddamn keep; or II) Betsy DeVos abolishes the public school system and instead provides families with vouchers that are redeemable at Chuck E. Cheese's:


The point is it's winter recess for the school kids next week:


(Mmmm...winter Reese's.)

Which means I'll be taking leave of this blog in order to "parent."  Unless something really exciting happens before then I'll be back on Monday, February 27th, at which point I will resume regular updates.  So mark your calendars...

...with blood.

In other news, Freds of New York rejoice!  The George Washington Bridge restoration will now include additional improvements to the bike and pedestrian path:



The authority announced and approved a new proposal on Thursday to extend the narrow sidewalk as it winds around the bridge’s two towers. The “wedges,” as they’re called, will allow for cyclists to navigate the towers comfortably, without dismounting from their bikes, according to the Port Authority.

The agency added the plans to the project after receiving feedback from the cycling community. The George Washington Bridge rehabilitation already includes designs to improve cycling and pedestrian access to the bridge. Narrow staircases leading to the bridge will be replaced with ADA-compliant ramps. And the existing access ramps will be widened and redesigned with gentler curves.

Now all the Port Authority needs to do is implement an aerobar ban and we'll really be getting somewhere.  After all, if you can't use them in a mass-start event why should you be able to use them out on the open road?



I'm sure the triathlete community would fight this bitterly, but hopefully in the end we can settle and allow aerobars for Jersey-bound trips but ban them for New York-bound trips.

And if you don't like my travel ban I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT.

Speaking of justice, what's the greatest offense you can possibly commit here in the United States of Canada's FUPA?  Why, impeding the flow of motor vehicle traffic, of course:



A Michigan State Trooper ticketed a bicyclist for allegedly impeding traffic. The bicyclist fought the ticket with the help of Bike Law attorney Bryan Waldman. The bicyclist prevailed at Circuit Court.

This is not a recent video, but it's the first time I've seen it, and it's worth watching because as an American cyclist it's important to know where you stand.  ("In the way," according to pretty much everybody.)


Lastly, further to yesterday's post there was some spirited (tedious?) discussion about lighting, and as it happens it looks like the NYPD was cracking down on lightless riding last week:
Something tells me they weren't checking for shaped beams.

And with that, I'm outta here.  Thanks for reading, ride safe, and I'll see you back here on Monday, February 27th.


--Wildcat Rock Machine


118 comments:

Ted K. said...

215. The anarchist [34] too seeks power, but he seeks it on an individual or small-group basis; he wants individuals and small groups to be able to control the circumstances of their own lives. He opposes technology because it makes small groups dependent on large organizations.

Two Claws said...

Two Claws Up!

Joe said...

Podium?

sTONEdEADLAND said...

Skol!

Anonymous said...

"...I am at the mercy of the schedule of the New York City Department of Education...

Two words to setting your own schedule: Home Schooling.



Cinimod said...

I was impeded.

Dan Rather said...

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic

Brad Smith said...

Off to Maralago again?

streepo said...

Where is my effing quiz?
Scranus

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

The tennus ??

vsk

Chazu said...

Eleventeenth

Anonymous said...

Toppus XIII?

Chazu said...

Easy now, Anonymous 12:58.

You mention those two word together and everyone things you're talking about religious indoctrination AND white nationalism.

Call it "living the life of a nonconformist" and you'll get some traction.

I paid $ to buy a house in the best damn school district in my state, and after a single year of public schooling, my wife started talking about "living the life of a nonconformist" and I though she was nuts. It took another full year before I realized that I'm the one who is nuts. She was right, I was wrong, and the kids are out riding bikes RIGHT NOW, in the middle of a beautifully sunny school day.

At the elementary school level, >80% of "teaching" is crowd control. Our kids are better off learning at their own pace, rather than being part of the crowd under control.

Did I mention the bikey part?

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

14th, happy hiatus snob! Scranus!

JLRB said...

"Gentler curves".

hoghopper said...

Quit your sing song and just write me the ticket.

JLRB said...

And after riding home on the chubby tires last night I would probably go for electric assist - not for the actual trail ride portion of my modified commute - but for the rumbling along pavement on knobs part. Chubbies and pavement never mix well.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Chazu,

I think calling public education "80% crowd control" is at least as simplistic as calling home schooling "white nationalism" or whatever.

--Wildcat Etc.

N/A said...

I gotcher shaped beam right here!



Have a nice Hi8us, Snobster.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

I'm glad the cyclist pulled over by the Michigan state trooper prevailed in court, that cop was a real dick, even left his car radio on while he made the stop. Maybe so many of the cops wouldn't be such douches if they didn't have to be tax collectors and mental health counselors and could just fight crime. Then again, maybe not, especially with the Orange SCROTUS administration running like a well oiled machine!

Anonymous said...

Public "education" is 100% crowd control and needs to be extended to 52 weeks per year and a minimum of 6 days per week. For the sake of society not the parents who should be blogging.

JLRB said...

Home schooling is one of my go to threats when my human child is acting up

Bryan said...

LightsnobNYC: I have a B&M light. I would only give it a 6/10 rating. I like how wide the light spreads out, and battery life is decent, but it isn't bright enough for me. So I end up using that and a light on top of the ole plastic head protector (cause cycling on an unlit road with woods on both sides I like to be able to turn my head and see what I want to look at).
Even if doing urban riding, I usually take along the brighter light and run it at full strength. I'm okay with being an asshole. As long as I can see the road in front of me and all the potholes and debris, I'm happy.

Bryan said...

I do wish there was year round school. As it is, my state sucks donkey balls in public education, even though I live in one of the best districts in the state.

Hill Slayer said...

Just to clarify, you meant FUPA as in "Football Umbrella Party Association"? "It's actually a group of die-hard European football enthusiasts that always carry umbrellas in case it rains." Wait, that doesn't quite make sense in this context... hmm.

http://www.refinery29.com/2016/06/113007/sexist-insulting-words-body-shaming-women#slide-3

Anonymous said...

the cop was an ignorant bully. He didn't know the statute he was trying to enforce and his treatment of the rider was abusive. Every cop needs a bodycam.

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Cop was a dick. Condescending and obnoxious. I'm glad he went after the cyclists, rather than the driver that made the left in front of the four cyclist travelling 20+mph.

grog said...

Here are my answers to the quiz:
1) Impeding
2) Shaped beams
3) Chris Christie's meatloaf
4) A fine tuned machine
5) Recumbabe
Have a nice weekend. Sunny and 65 is perfect for riding.

Nat King Coal said...

"running like a well oiled machine" probably meant to say "running like a coal fired furnace".

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Finally got the old biekcycle out for the commute this morning. It was nice. Here's my stats because I know how much you like ride data:

Duration: 0:27:02
Distance: 4.75 miles
Average Pace: 5:41 min/mile
Average Speed*: 10.53 mph
Calories burned: 235kcal
Total Ascent: 135 ft
Total Descent: 33 ft
Scranal Conditions: Not bad at all thanks to my Brooks B67.

*Just poking along to keep operating temperatures moderated.

Chazu said...

WCRM,

Good point, and, agreed.

The "homeschooling" term carries political and religious connotations for a wide swath of the "general public", which used to include me on that topic. Now I find myself taking a defensive position in conversations with others who have the point of view that I held in the past. As an example; "homeschooler" was hurled at Barron T. recently as an insult by an SNL writer. Not funny for two reasons; he's a kid who didn't choose his parents, and homeschooling isn't an indication of psychopathy.

Hope you have a great High 8 Us.





Joey Nick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cujoe8 said...

Change of topic:

http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2017/02/study-shows-millennials-worst-drivers/#more-1513953

Thought I'd post this here.
Here's why separate bike lanes are needed. Everywhere.

bad boy of the north said...

Well,another hightail-us!Speaking of blinky lights,I am one the last ones if not the only one to still use those "cysts".Still like 'em.the battery lasts forever.they may not be the best at lighting the way but they work for me.oh,yeah! The Michigan smokey was a dick.didn't even put on the drill sergeant bear hat.no offense to those here in law enforcement.

BeerDrivenCyclist said...

30 fïvë?

Old Timer said...

Huh? What?

bieks said...

I can't help thinking how awesome it would have been if the donald was a professional cyclist. If only Lance had Kellyann handling his case.

Dooth said...

Pure Michigan. That looks like Ten Mile Road or maybe Twelve Mile Road. Either way, it's way too narrow road.

Anonymous said...

Here are my answers to the quiz:

1) Violation
2) Strobe
3) Rise of the third reich
4) Melania's cunt
5) Bird of prey

BTW, there's a Ducati motorcycle ad in your sidebar.

Anonymous said...

I was hohm skulled.

Anonymous said...

I used to like Reeses Peanut Butter cups till I read this about them.

https://www.healthandlovepage.com/reeses-peanut-butter-cups-cheap-full-toxic-chemicals/

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Anonymous, could there have been a Ducati motorcycle ad in your browser while looking at the blog? The other day I noticed an ad on my screen while reading the blog that obviously came from my browsing history. If it gives snob a few more bucks to feed his 17 kids I'm ok with it. But if he only gets paid if I click on it he won't get anything, sorry.

The 64 Thousand Dollar Question said...

Naswers to quiz (I know it's "An")

1. Q: What Me Worry A: Donald Trump
2. Q: Melania A: Treatable with Penicillin
3. Q: Babble sprawled on Wreck Beach A: Not this time of year
4: Q: Appointed Sec. of Peninsulas A: Carlos Danger
5: Q: General Electric A: We bring good things to bikes.

leroy said...

Ride something something all.

Anonymous said...

So quiet here... enjoying Presidents Day weekend. Riding? I wish.

Phez7 said...

Oh wow. Cyclist grandfather shot in a random attack... was wearing a helment. What a relief: http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/cyclist-shot-with-pellet-gun-on-tourist-trail-in-victorias-north-east-20170218-gug3tc.html

'Straya peeps!

Anonymous said...

Special deal alert!

Groupon has Tour De France tire levers for 1/2 price, limited time/limited supply. Special yellow TdF color also.

https://www.groupon.com/deals/gg-tour-de-france-bicycle-tire-lever-1

Denial Mofi said...

Good information. Lucky me I came across your website by accident by google search.I've book-marked it for later!
motorcycles for sale

dop said...

Ted K had an admirer on the number 6 train this morning

Law and Order Bicycle Division said...

First the police were cracking down on bikes without bells, now it's lights, what's next, no handlebar tape, no fenders?

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pathetic Old Cyclist said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

I like to post comments and delete them. Blogger call me an author when I do.

Swedish Fish with a Bomb said...

Top of the 02/21 Podium. Eat Fresh!

The Original Fred said...

Beautiful day in the neighborhood
a beautiful day for a neighbor

Sesame Street Chef said...

Bya Yourgen da Trumper bis fritter craz ya!

JLRB said...

The title to this entry is fitting - Winter is on recess - enjoying the riding of bikecycles!

GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR TOM said...

NEWS FLASH - This Just In from Sweden.

Nothing happened yesterday.

Frickus Rungus said...

Mild mannered blogger by day, bovine Wrangler by night, wildcat stays busy during hi high-8-us: Elusive Bull Is Apprehended In New York City

Frickus Rungus said...

At one point Tuesday morning, the bull trotted peaceably behind a cyclist — who nonetheless decided to make a sharp right turn out of the animal's path.

Can't wait to see the fly6 video.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

I hate being cat 6'd by a bull!

yusuf islam said...

No, my album was called, Catch Bull at 4

Holy Roller said...

Jesus is not fake news.

Holy Roller said...

Though some might equate Him to alternative facts.

Wikiquote quote of the day: said...

Wikiquote quote of the day:

If Men are to be precluded from offering their sentiments on a
matter, which may involve the most serious and alarming consequences,
that can invite the consideration of Mankind; reason is of no use to us
— the freedom of Speech may be taken away — and, dumb & silent we
may be led, like sheep, to the Slaughter.
--George Washington

BamaPhred said...

Pro tip
Helments cause cancer
Had one removed at the base of neck at the helment/base of skull intersection
But now I have a cool 3 inch long suture.
It's all good

JLRB said...

if we all wave red flags maybe Snob will come back and post

JLRB said...

And, fuck it, I'm leasing an interstellar spaceship I've always wanted to live near a cool dwarf sun

pbateman said...

my goodness. i came here for some bike themed comedy, and as bonus got a recipe for homemade winter recess cups from some guy named Anony Mous.

hashtag: Blessed

Frickus Rungus said...

Not just a cool dwarf, an ultra-cool dwarf sun. It's, like, totally cooler than the other sun's...

dancesonpedals said...

If anyone knows what the fuck this sign means, please tell me.

Pist Off said...

Handicapped access to the bar thatta way?

Anonymous said...

Makin' yer way in the world today takes everything you got.

Takin' a break from all yer worries sure would help a lot.

JLRB said...

Don't know what the sign means but it reminds me of the old joke about martinis and breasts - one not enough - three too many - two just right

BamaPhred said...

I wonder how much Snob is enjoying his Chuck E Cheese vouchers?

Mirror Mirror on the Wall said...

"Bike Law Attorney" Such a thing really exists?

Ya find out there is life on one of the dwarf star planets (planet Tyrion one presumes) so you travel 40 million light years to get there and you find the place is run by Donald Trump's clone (who everyone calls the Tyrant of Tyrion) - well, at least the place isn't hell on earth.

Chazu said...

Mirror Mirror on the Wall,

I wonder which of the One True Religion(s) has a hold on Tyrion. I'm guessing christianity, specifically; catholicism*. Because that would be the most ironic of all the religions to be practiced by 'intelligent' life on other planets.....because so many were put to death here on Earth by the church for daring to think that the universe doesn't revolve around a flat Earth.

*Just kidding - if we find intelligent life practicing any religions elsewhere in the universe, I'm moving to Canada.

Victor Kaminski said...

vsk said ...

But, but, so many continue to be put to death by the religion of peace...


Illegal aliens from another planet? Build a cosmic wall. And let the Moon pay for it.

vsk

Give Me Some of that Old Time Religion said...

Chazu at 321 If they have religion then they have war. Religion has covered the earth in more blood than anything has - example, see Crusades 1-8 or 9 or 10. I can't remember how many, but there was a whole bunch of them. One Crusade didn't even make it to the "Holy Land", instead it sacked two big christian cities, including Constantinople. Lots of other examples attached to other religions too.

The Lobs Holy PSI said...

Those Canadians are smart not to have any religion other than bike riding.

So it Goes said...

The Donald...

While immigration got the big news coverage, almost under the radar The Don also:

Repealed the regulation banning coal mining companies from dumping waste water into streams.

Ah, the people downstream always wanted to turn into Iguanas anyway.

Repealed the rule banning US oil, gas and mining companies from making payments to foreign governments.

The Dept of Bribery is once again open for business.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Tried Lays potato chips new flavor, Southwestern Queso. Couldn't quite place the taste, then it hit me. I now call them "Elizabeth flavored chips."

Stunned and Amazed said...

Dear USA,
You have actually elected an actual buffoon as your Commander in Chief.

BamaPhred said...

Winter Recess?
I just put out 4 hummingbird feeders.
It's early, but I expect to see a few hanging around in a day or so.
Of course, now it will freeze and turn shitty until I take them up.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

Does Mayor De Blasio's vision zero really mean zero pedestrians and cyclists on the streets?

The hidden tax collectors, I mean coppers, better step up their crackdowns on bieks without bells and lights!

Moron Business or Monkey Business said...

Stunned and Amazed on February 24, 2017 at 12:57 AM

"Dear USA, You have actually elected an actual buffoon as your Commander in Chief."

Buffoon or Baboon; six of one, half a dozen of the other.

1904 Cadardi said...

Okay kids, Dad's going to be back in a couple of days so we only have a few days to party before we have to clean up.

Now let's roll this wheelchair to the bar!!!!

#whatvodkayourunning

Chazu said...

I wanted to take the 1st spot on the podium today, so wandered over to this here blog at approximately 8AM Eastern today.

What did I find when I arrived? A Dab-Gum FOREIGNER! Criticizing our PREZY-DENT! He took my spot on the pody-um!

Git outta my kuntry!

No really, a former coworker of mine left to take a job with Garmin. Her current (now former) coworker was shot to death in a bar this week by a #shittyamerican who yelled "Get out of my country" before pulling the trigger. Victims are Indian.

Anonymous said...

Hatey-nineth comment.

bad boy of the north said...

Chazu,I heard about that.That sucks.

CommieCanuck said...

Good luck curating Snob, by this age the kids should have learned to NOT TALK TO DADDY ...WHEN HE'S DRINKING.

I'll just pretend Pope Don Cherry and the Holy Church of the Blue Line didn't read the comment about Canadian religion.
Tim Horton died for your sins. And really shitty coffee.

Follow the Money Honey said...

Religion doesn't start wars.
Resources starts wars.
Religion sometimes provides cover for wars about resources.

CommieCanuck said...

Hey Snob, any truth to rumors you are banning the New York Times from leaving comments?

FAKE NEWS

CommieCanuck said...

Religion promotes wearing sandals. Sandals start wars. How fast we forget the millions who perished in the Birkenstock Conflict, in Bowling Green, Sweden.

Fucking lie-beral media buried it all.

dancesonpedals said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

She see this time I wasn't just talking
Then we'll go out walking

wishiwasmerckx said...

OMFG...

wishiwasmerckx said...

...did you see what Trump said today?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Take to the streets with torches and pitchforks!

wishiwasmerckx said...

...and, 100th comment!

ClevelandYeah said...

He says shit like that all the time and nada... and second century podio!

dancesonpedals said...

my friend heard a boom, followed by the driver calling 911...she took this picture in front of her house

Not far from the infamous Porsche/Fondont incident

Bowling Green Reporting In said...

Nothing happened yesterday.

Nothing so far today either.

A few people had the nerve top ride bikes though.

Their tough, these bowlers are.

Not Good to See said...

DoP@315 Can't imagine the driver came out of that OK.

Lieutenant Oblivious said...

DOP @ 3:15, that is the proverbial "wrapped around a telephone pole" crash!

One Ringy Dingy said...

In this wireless age, the term 'telephone pole' is losing it's meaning.

Anonymous said...

It's kind of nice. The Trump Crazy Train doesn't run on the weekends.

1 on 26 it is. said...

26th Podium Top.

Wait is it Monday? Does the Scribe of Gowanus return today.

Is Bannon still President?

Four said...

Anom 1146

The crazy train sits on a siding on weekends because he spends every weekend golfing. Kind of ironic because he spent two years criticizing Obama for going golfing.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if Trump has ever sat on, and/or pedalled a bicycle in his life? Or perhaps doing so might be perceived as too un-American amongst his base?

Agent Orange said...

When the Trump Train pulls into small town USA, real jobs for real Americans are soon to follow!

dancesonpedals said...

Donald Trump can write the Lord's Prayer on the head of a pin.

Anonymous said...

Anon at 710 says to Anon 7:40 Definitely the latter.

CommieCanuck said...

Trump won the Tour de Trump, the win was beautiful, the gap was yuge, really yuge.

The beauty of Conservatives is that they are lifelong fucking idiots and under-acheivers, so all you have to do is back and enjoy the crazy and wait for the eventual fail.

Here's a prophetic video of Don Cherry at Rob Ford's Mayoral inauguration, attacking cyclists and pinkos. Enjoy his last line.

In French, Cherry is referred to as "Le Fucqtard", some words just don't translate well.

Thomas Edison said...

DOP 609 But can he do it while riding an electrically boosted bicycle?

Bannon, Have Website, Will Travel said...

This summer Trump will bicycle through every state that he carried in Le Tour de Chumps. He'll also stop in zip codes that didn't vote for him going door to door looking for the millions, millions, of illegal voters.

Bannon, etc etc said...

PS If The Donald comes to your door, don't admit to him you were an illegal voter. If you do your ass will be catapulted over the wall ASAP. If so, sure hope you know Spanish.

Remembering the Good Humor Man said...

Rob Ford's departure is today viewed as being very untimely, as all we have now is the sit-com in Washington and two headed fish being caught in the Gowanus Canal.