Wednesday, August 6, 2014

To paraphrase a popular song from 1990, "Today is hump day, pronounced with a ump day."

Morning!

That's not a greeting, that's merely an observation.

Let's begin.

First off, I may have written about Citi Bike in no less a periodical than The New York Times, but I save my real insights for Bicycling, who recently published what will surely go down in history as the definitive piece on bike share in New York City:


I totally forgot I wrote this until it popped up on their Twitter, and then I clicked on it and read it again and high-fived myself the whole time because it's just that good.

In other cultural news, I recently received an email from a musician who performs under the name "AK," and she wanted me to know about her new video which she shot in Brooklyn:

The video is about a summer I spent with my girlfriends in Massachusetts, smoking J's and riding to lakes all over the place every afternoon. Now I live in NY and biking here is both terrifying and thrilling and it's one of the best parts of living in this crazy place.

Here is that video:


"Circles" by AK from alexandra kalinowski on Vimeo.

Okay, I'll now give you a few moments to get the obvious comments out of your system:


By which I mean, of course, the comments about how her crank is on backwards:


Anyway, so there she is riding through the part of Brooklyn that looks most like Portland, when all of a sudden an army of gentrifiers emerges like something out of Spike Lee's worst fever dreams:


And here's the view from some asshole's Altima as he lays on the horn and screams, "Get da fuck outta da street!"


Meanwhile, our heroine weaves along because she's intoxicated with delight--or possibly because her, uh, flowers are throwing her off balance:


Then they all head into Prospect Park:


Where they go whatever the blissed-out millennial equivalent of "ballistic" is:


After which they make like they're going to go swim in the lake:


Which we know they didn't do based simply on the fact that they're still alive afterwards.

Seriously, that water's fucking disgusting.

Then they go back to Ditmas Park:


Which is why you can't afford to live there anymore.


In any case, a great big Mazel Tov to AK, and when the Grammys start rolling in I expect to be thanked first.

By the way, did somebody say "Taco Bike?"



I think that they did:


Between the AK video and this I'm beginning to detect a theme (or more accurately a pair of themes) emerging in today's blog posting, though I can't quite put my finger on what it is, so instead here's a close-up of a taco:


Delicious.

Speaking of Portland (which I was awhile back, or at least I mentioned it), obviously they're changing the world by riding bikes, so they're now wondering what would happen if they all drove cars instead:


As it happens, the answer is "Not much:"

Even in Portland, a “day without the bicycle” would have very little effect on congestion.

Even in the bikingest part of the bikingest major city in North America, getting every single bike commuter with a car to drive to work for one day would barely increase auto traffic more than the normal day-to-day fluctuation on any given street. Overall, the impact would be 10 percent in the central business district, 11 percent in the Pearl, 9 percent in Old Town and 11 percent in the PSU area.

Though it would make Zoobomb a lot more interesting:


I suspect a small handful of Portlanders are secretly relieved that they can go ahead and drive their Subarus more often because it really doesn't matter, though I also suspect most of them are shocked to learn that the fate of humanity doesn't hinge on how they get to work in the morning.

And finally, remember Laura Weintraub?  Well, unsurprisingly, she's now crafted a highly contrived redemption narrative for herself in a desperate attempt to prolong her rapidly fading Internet fame and/or re-ingratiate herself with the Santa Paula police:

 

"I had my wake-up call.  And perhaps my mistake can help to bridge the gap and bring greater awareness to both motorists and cyclists alike."

"I, I, I, me, me, me..."  See that?  Everything's going to be okay now that the great Laura Weintraub has come around.  Clearly she's the savior we've been waiting for.

At this point I'm not sure whether she's a sociopath or a megalomaniac, though I suspect it's a little bit of both.

325 comments:

1 – 200 of 325   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

1st

cycle

Anonymous said...

2nd

cycle

Anonymous said...

3rd

cycle

James said...

just missed the scrodium. Should have rode in to work faster.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Good Morning Scranus.

Anonymous said...

Again - the words of Sherlock Holmes, "I am not a psychopath. I am a high functioning sociopath." Old Laura there should take those words of wisdom to heart.

cycle

JB said...

KUKU KAXU

Anonymous said...

I am willing to give Laura Weintraub another chance in the same way I give that crazy but hot ex-girlfriend another chance.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

BikeSnob, Thanks for keeping us abreast of the lastest cycling culture.

BamaPhred said...

Weednesday Early Posting Psych

McFly said...

3 cheers for the Wednesday cleavage!

Rusty Red said...

Cleavage is a great place to stash a taco.

Anonymous said...

Dunno about the circles but I did enjoy the spheres.

DB said...

Snob: I would like you to put the Fly6 on your bike and lead out AK for a few miles. Report back ASAP.
Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Toppus XX ?

Bryan said...

'ello chaps!

streepo said...

Great mother of scranus you're* early this morning.

*Tryin' to keep the apostrophe alive.

Blog Drafter said...

Shit's spilling outta dat taco, SHIT is SPILLIN' OUTTA DAT TACO!!!

Anonymous said...

That's right, Laura. Hug it out...

dop said...

it's good to see ladies on bikes displaying 'the full pezzo'

pezzo fan said...

full pezzo

Bryan said...

Cleavage and a pleasant singing voice aside...I stopped Steel Panther for that?
Great post today, though. Now off to read your other articles and get back to sleaze and boobs

McFly said...

I bet Laura has found some jerks for which she got paid handsomely.

That does not make her a bad girl. The bike hate does, though.

Yeah Cleveland! said...

Just grab 'em in the biscuits.

Pressures on, McFly.

chunkylover said...

When will you be meeting with Laura Weintraub, Snob?

PotbellyJoe said...

How have the tridorks not built chest mounted units for water bottles? It would be conveniently "Aero."

Maybe they have and I'm just at work so I don't want to Google Cleavage Water Bottle for Triathlon.

Even if it does exist, I'll start a kickstarter for it. Seems to be what you do these days.

Turd Ferguson said...

Had to watch AK several times to notice - NO HELMENT!

Nice Taco and cleavage.

I hereby attest to my non-robot status.

DB said...

I see that this Saturday night at Cu29 Copper in Williamsburg from 9-1, there is a body painting party. For 25$ you can paint bodies, have yours painted or just watch others get painted.
Let's coordinate flights and meet at Leroy's house beforehand.

Freddy Murcks said...

Gotta wake up pretty early to compete with this crowd. Fortunately, I have the Wednesday weed to soothe my soul.



402 (Robot Captcha apparently knows that it's too early for the 420)

Flyover BC said...

AK's rack is ensconced in flowers.

Otherwise, she would benefit from a playboy bunny, monocoque (hardshell) biking outfit, which may not be cool (well ventilated)but is likely more aerodynamic.

Jason Rumfelt said...

how the fuck do you change the world "one taco at a time?"

Jason Rumfelt said...

also... watching "Boobs Mc Hipster" ride a left-side drive, is deplorable. I suppose it was bound to fall in to the hands of the dork-side sooner or later. Be right back, I need to go set mine on fire now :(

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...AK's circles are about 'what goes around, comes around', or, AKA, how to balance on a bicycle.

Anonymous said...

No obligatory Liz Hatch reference?

Anonymous said...

No obligatory Liz Hatzh photo link?

Freddy Murcks said...

Aside from the fact that it looks weird and therefore makes the rider seem like somewhat of an iconoclast, what's the point of left-side drive? Regardless of the right-side drive or left-side drive, AK has nice, shapely breasts and I am good with that.




aontian combination

Freddy Murcks said...

This, however, is probably the best bike video of all time.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taDgdQ9IDro



3G said...

caffeinated and motivated...no other way to be.

Great drawing with the article!

Anonymous said...

leadout fodder

mikeweb said...

That reminds me that I need get the Kickstarter going for my idea: Keilbasa bike.

ken e. said...

BREK FAST
TACO HASH

Anonymous said...

she isn;t a left-crankie

she is bi

you didn;t pay enough attention

my crank is down there, doofus!

wle

babble on said...

Mmmmmm booooooobies. Thanks, snobbers.
And wow. So Laura's one of us now, is she? Lucky us. It would have been a better video if she showed us her boobies...

Anonymous said...

Freddy, I just got a bicycle-babe bronski

Anonymous said...

ouch, my ears are still ringing from the AK video.

Smoking Js Seriously?

Regular guy said...

You're right, you CAN"T put your finger on it (or them) that would be groping.

Anonymous said...

Did that Portland article use the word "bikingest" twice in one sentence. Good englishismness

babble on said...

Anon @ 11:45 - there is absolutely nothing obligatory about Liz. She's da bomb.

Roille Figners said...

So many tits!

Comment deleted said...

There must be eleven of 'em!

leroy said...

Today's post reminds me of the old adage "If you can't say something nice, attribute it to your dog."

My dog asked me to make Ms. AK's video stop. It sounded like a show tune without a show.

Okay, so maybe there isn't an old adage about talking dogs.

But there should be.

It would be better than that one about letting sleeping dogs prevaricate.

Anonymous said...

You can't spell Alexandra Kalinowski without anal sex.

leroy said...

My dog also called out half century podium.

Don't know what that's about.

Roille Figners said...

Anonymous 1:40 for COD

P. Bateman said...

i dont know....laura looked fairly cute in that video when she's not making horribly unfunny commentary and not wearing the huge sunglasses. and what happened to her valley girl ahhhhccent? like, oh my god where did it goooo?

long story long. i'd do her. but only if she let me tie her up with a U lock.

almost forgot, that cirlces song, and the back up dancers....yeah, you can keep all those people NYC. have fun with that. blarf.

Roille Figners said...

OK I gotta go back & watch with the sound on now... you guys got me curious. Will I regret it? Probly.

Roille Figners said...

Tolerance gave out as expected, but it happened surprisingly fast.

BotingBot9000 said...

"At this point I'm not sure whether she's a sociopath or a megalomaniac, though I suspect it's a little bit of both."

I suspect a lot of both.

leroy said...

DB --

I'd look into that body painting party before committing.

The last time my dog invited me to a body painting party, it involved paintball guns.

He forgot to tell me about the gun and body armor part.

Anonymous said...

Never mind that shit. Here comes Katee!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taDgdQ9IDro

WatchedTheWholeVideoStaringAtTheCrankBot9000 said...

"...her crank is on backwards"

Her crank switches sides. I'm thinking the one shot where it appears to be on the left is a mirrored video.

MissingSheldonBot9000 said...

... what's the point of left-side drive?"

http://sheldonbrown.com/org/gunnar/

ak's ululating dugs said...

Funny this witless white cunt and her ofay simp train didn't head over to Flatbush... why is that, I wonder?

rural 14 said...

rural 1st!
Alexandra...the male gaze...exploitation...blah blah blah. Eyes up / but if my eyes drop...see previous. Is this what my ma fought for?
Nice try.
Was in Brooklyn last week. Got salmoned by Alexandra's clones all day long. I'm a rube.

Although apparently the robot thinks I'm a "photo sphere"

leroy said...

Oh great, now my dog is singing Mr. Ice Cube's classic "Today Was A Good Day," but I swear he changed the last lyric:


Drunk as hell but no throwin' up
Half way home and my pager still blowin' up
Today I didn't even have listen to A.K.
I got to say it was a good day.

Honestly, I'm beginning to wonder if he really spent the money he borrowed from me on those dog training classes he swore he signed up for.

Flyover BC said...

Leroy,

you loaned him money? Sounds like he's got you trained. So it was good investment for him.

Roille Figners said...

A to the K

BamaPhred said...

Major Boobage

AK 36D said...

One would not guess there are, I dunno...

ONE MILLION black and black-ish folk in Brooklyn, still?

This of course is how 'they' want it, and why morons and like AK are here now but still... Still.

All the black people in Portland say what?

JB said...

The Sheldon link doesn't explain why one would go the trouble of a left side drive bikecycle. I know some BMX bike tricksters go left side drive because apparently it can get in the way on one side or the other, depending on your preferences (kind of like riding "goofy footed" on a skateboard). Any other logical reasons, other than Super-Fred reasons?

WhyBeNormalBot9000 said...

Any other logical reasons, other than Super-Fred reasons?"

Maybe a super mechanic reason. After installing hundreds, maybe thousands of right side drive trains, he thought he would try one on the left. Just to do it.

Genevieve said...

You know, I love your blog, but but fuck this post. If you ride in a lot of women's shirts the tops of your breasts are going to show. It's irritating to be catcalled on the street about it while you're riding, and it's beyond irritating to see a column here making preteen-boy level jokes aboout it, which of course has inspired a lot of the same in the comments. I'm surprised and let down that you resorted to these jokes.

TroubleBOT9000 said...

"...go the trouble of a left side drive bikecycle."

So for a fixed gear, why is the left side more trouble than the right?

With Mr. Brown's 3 speed fixie, he had to figure the drive ratios gearing down, not up. I'm thinking that was fun for him, not trouble.

Anna Karina said...

Comrade Genevieve--

There's a HUGE difference between dressing and riding comfortably in what peace Brooklyn offers...

And OBVIOUSLY your fucking tits for a music video.

More power to her, if that's her bag: the music and the racism suck WAY worse than your clueless mis-reading of the post.

Or is there something subtle about all those milky dug shots I'm missing?

Yours in the struggle,

the other AK

Spokey said...

75 podia

Fred of the Sea said...

…and the subject and author of the video in question just grabbed the top shirt in the drawer and went out to do her shoot, unaware the garment's inadequacy?

TooOldToRememeberPreTeenBOT9000 said...

"...to see a column here making preteen-boy level jokes aboout it,...

So what exactly are the preteen-boy level jokes you think you saw in the column itself? Not the comments, the column. If you want to avoid irritating preteen stuff do not read the comments here. Ever.

"If you ride in a lot of women's shirts the tops of your breasts are going to show."

Not sure to whom you are referring when you say "you" but neither my breasts nor Mr. Snob's show when we ride, even if we wear a lot of shirts.

babble on said...

Ah come on Genevieve. You know what we're all about here. Did you really expect anything more of us? Besides. If you post a video of your boobs playing harmony to your melody, you can't possibly be surprised when people comment on it.

They're prolly just happy snobbers tripled thier views.

babble on said...

Oh yeah. Just by the way. I have noticed that when you do your top up you stop flashing your boobs. If you hate being catcalled in the city when you're riding a bike, the best thing is to wear concealing clothes. They DO exist, though they won't help remove the stick that is clearly lodged in your ass.

Dunno what you're going to do with that.

Roille Figners said...

Yeah you guys, grow up! Don't you know tits are deadly serious?

Roille Figners said...

Footnote: Sorry to say, there's only one level: Preteen boy. There are no levels beyond that.

ALICE KRAMDEN (THE REAL AK) said...

Never heard of musician of otherwise dubious appeal using 'sex' to sell...

Maybe AK can do the dance of seven veils in Sunset Park next and all the great 'ethicists' among us can claim we shouldn't stare, it's about COMFORT, man!

Meet me in Bensonhurst, I'm the one in the sundress, 'cross bike with road wheels, small tits--

ALICE KRAMDEN (THE REAL AK)

Fred of the Sea said...

…and another thought: Comments can be good or bad, à propos or gratuitous, but the mental reaction of boob aficionados to the sight of boobs is as legitimate a part of their biology as the boobs are of their owners'.

Anonymous said...

JB,

I hate to be overly pedantic, but the "left side drive" in the video is nothing more than a reversed image. The very first shot in the video shows the same bike with the drive clearly on the conventional right hand side. And then after the left hand drive shot (where, tellingly, we only see the lower half of the bike) we see another shot of the bike with the conventional drive set up. I stopped watching after that, but I'm prepared to stand by my assertion that it's a reversed image.

As to why you would deliberately have your drive on the left, perhaps my experience would explain some occurrences of this phenomenon;

On one bike with mismatched components I had to flip the axle of the old style bottom bracket around so that the shorter end was on the drive side positioning the crank closer to frame allowing the derailleurs to engage all the gears. If I had only a sealed cartridge BB, and I was feeling bloody minded enough, I might flip the wheel and the cranks to achieve the same result.

But I can't think of a "technical" reason to do it. A bit like whether the left or right brake lever connects to the front or rear brakes: it's all about the cleveage.

Genevieve said...

OK, someone suggested I missed the point of the column, and someone else asked what were the jokes I objected to in the post itself, barring the comments. So, to "Anna Karina," and TooOldToRememeberPreTeenBOT9000 while I count exactly one reference to gentrification in the column, I see the following references to tits: 1. "I'll give you a few moments to get the obvious comments out of your system [followed by screenshot]." 2. "or possibly because her, uh, flowers" etc. 3. "I'm beginning to detect a theme (or more accurately a pair of themes) etc."

I also notice a theme emerging that basically says the singer invited these comments by wearing a revealing top, which presumably goes for the woman in the bike tacos ad too, and furthermore that if I and other women don't like getting street-harassed what needs to happen is we should wear different clothes. So, I'd love to say that assertion shocks me, but of course it doesn't. But that doesn't make it any less a pile of complete fucking bullshit. Maybe you all could pull your heads out of your asses and listen to what I'm saying. Or if not me, how's this: talk to some woman you know who rides and ask, "Hey, is it awesome to feel like you have a choice between wearing a turtleneck and pants (but not tight ones!)every time you get on your bike, or having strangers roll down their windows at every light to tell you how your ass looks and scream at you from the sidewalk about your breasts?" She might be like, "Yeah! I love it!" or she might not, in which case you might learn something.

Anyway, in answer to someone who asked, no, I guess I didn't really expect better from the commenters, but I read this blog daily because I think it's funny and sometimes informative and because its politics are usually pretty good. In this case, yes, I was disappointed and angry. Thanks for asking.

Anna Kournikova (The Other, Other AK) said...

Did you know that in 2000, I became the new face for Berlei's shock absorber sports bras, and appeared in the "only the ball should bounce" billboard campaign?

-AK

babble on said...

I am a woman who rides. Every. Day. And I am not a fan of turtlenecks. Somehow I manage to get where I am going without feeling like the target of a gang rape. How can that be?

Maybe you're just too hot for words, doll, because I really don't understand what the problem is. What exactly are you angry about? That men are so taken with your stunning good looks that you can't ride a single block without somebody reaching out to let you know how sexually stimulating they find you?

Must be very challenging to be so overwhelmingly beautiful. I pity you.

Or is the problem that snobbers made funny comments about a couple of videos which blatently featured breasts? Look. If those women didn't want people to notice their breasts, they should have kept them covered, instead of making them the star of the show. End of story.

Arnold HorshacK Jr. said...

Cher Guinevere--

Funny, for starters, that you don't see all the missing black people in Brooklyn yet you can accuse others of only seeing tits.

Fiunny you try to make an absurd case out of a dubiously talented white female musician ** purposely ** AND ** purposefully ** flashing her semi-ample white dugs...

... in a music video, ** she ** posted on the internet, which is promotion, which is to sell etc etc.

I don't think too many folks are going to buy her music based on these images but if she ever opens up a CLIPS4SALE account, yes, she might find some fans.

Merci!

Herschel Raney said...

A boob day? Odd for the bike blog but, okay, I see. I am a leg man myself.

And AK girl clearly was not just going out for a ride, she was going out to film a video. So choosing this top was a conscious choice for her video. Is it a better video for it? Good Lord I could not make it through due to the song. I don't think naked would make up for the song. And she sent the video specifically to Snob's attention. Surely she had read comments here at some time in the past. Almost certainly she is reading comments today. I hope she doesn't weep.

And that taco picture is nauseating.

And check these (no boobs, no music);
http://devour.com/video/ultimate-close-calls/

ObviousBOT9000 said...

" 1. "I'll give you a few moments to get the obvious comments out of your system [followed by screenshot]." 2. "or possibly because her, uh, flowers" etc. 3. "I'm beginning to detect a theme (or more accurately a pair of themes)"

These are the jokes you find beyond irritating? And you think these are the equivalent of catcalls in the street? You have lived a shelter live.

grog said...

So is it still okay to be in love with Recumbabe?

Freddy Murcks said...

Genevieve - I get your point. Getting cat called is no fun (I wouldn't know personally - I am a man and I'm not particularly attractive to cat calling types) and women shouldn't have to wear the burkha to avoid being cat called.

Nevertheless, I think you have chosen the wrong forum for complaining about juvenile boob comments. Lecturing the commentariat here for making juvenile, sexist comments is likely to be about as effective as lecturing your refrigerator about not keeping your food cold enough.



666 (Robot Captcha worships Satan)

David Pearce said...

A little Digital Underground to get us in the mood, alright! "Both how I'm livin' and my nose is large!"

And speaking of "In the Mood", I hear all over the place it is the 74 anniversary of Glenn Miller's iconic song, and it is great, and I think he was shot down and never returned from WWII, so we miss him, and it is August 6, which is the anniversary of the atomic bombing of Hiroshima, so there is that. Why is the world so all mixed up, the good and the bad??

Meanwhile, with regard to AK, I say that is one "healthy" girl, and I like her smile. Mmm-mm, good! I say, if you look good enough you should be allowed to take your clothes off anywhere you want. I know if I were good looking enough, I'd be flaunting my washboard abs and taut & trim upper body any chance I got.

Instead I'm reduced to swimming with my T-shirt on to supposedly hide my burgeoning man-boobs while singing "I Don't Look Good Naked Anymore!"

Swear to god, life is a crock. Sometimes the crock is clean and filled with tasty food, and sometimes it is just nasty & greasy & dirty and in need of a good wash!

Genevieve said...

Freddy: thanks, I appreciate it. My original post was actually directed at and meant for the author (Bike Snob), not the commenters at all, although I did suggest he "inspired" some of the comments. As far as my later response to commenters, you may be right to say it isn't effective to try and argue with people in comments. They definitely bring out the worst and stupidest in people. But I deserve to have my say just as much as someone who just wants to write an idiotic boob pun, and I don't call that lecturing.

the commentariat said...

Genevieve, show us your tits!!

crosspalms said...

The preteen boy jokes are pretty equal-opportunity here. The Kuku Penthouse? Almost every reference to Cipo? I forget whose kit got savaged for the "hey, look at my crotch" design, but them too. I don't see how anyone could read the blog every day and not realize until now that it features heavy doses of "ooh, body parts." I only take offense when Snob threatens to hurt cats.

Anonymous said...

Hows about some really offensive comments?

Roille Figners said...

To paraphrase an excellent joke of Leroy's:

"Sorry, first time talking to a woman."

k-bo said...

Genevieve is AK is ChamoisJuice

Spokey said...

please please almighty Lob, giveth me the 100th.

Spokey's sulking said...

Hows about getting back to the first order of business hereabouts; the Snobby Century?

Lurking for Years said...

Cleavage Water Bottle Holder search yields a predicable top result: http://triathlon.competitor.com/2012/08/features/dispatch-mary-beth-ellis-ironman-u-s-championship-win_59813

Spokey's sulking said...

Fuck, you're good, Spokey.

Anonymous said...

Victory is mine

crosspalms said...

anon 4:51
Another helment debate?

Anonymous said...

Crosspalms,

There's three countries in the entire world with universal mandatory helment laws; everyone at all times must wear helment when riding: Australia, New Zealand and the United Arab Emirates.

Those three countries are fucken idiots.

Spokey said...

Genevieve

as regular readers of this and spoke 'n scene know don't believe that lying babble (@ 4:15 PM)

I am a woman who rides. Every. Day.

because WE know she recently spent several days in a row off bike bike and in the hospital NOT RIDING

Fred of the Sea said...

Commenting brings out the best in me. I am an intolerant boor in real life.

I am also the husband and father of women, one of whom does, and one of whom used to, get hassled all the time and no, they did not bring it on themselves any more than I deserve the rage of motorists for riding my bicycle in a safe and lawful manner. On the other hand, one of them, at least, never posted a video of herself riding a bicycle in a low-cut top and expected her breasts not to be the salient feature of the scene.

Genevieve, I talk to women all the time, more, in all likelihood, than I do to men, and my sexual politics have been shaped for the better by those interactions. I suggest that you, in turn, ask some nice sensitive men for their candid opinion of that video.

Respectfully,

Fred

Anonymous said...

Narcissist and suicidal blonde tend to come to mind in the world of whocaresland.

babble on said...

Sorry, Gen. I'm grumpy. And it really really bugs me that in our world kids can see 50 000 murders before they graduate, but boobs are taboo. Then to add injury to insult, they are taught that masturbation is a sin. It is absolutely ridiculous, and it makes people seriously stupid. That's why gang rape and violence against women is endemic in places where fundamental religious practices are the norm.

Sex is healthy, normal and natural, and the body is something to be celebrated. THAT's why I love boobies.

Spokey said...

Freddy Murcks @ 4:32 PM

about as effective as lecturing your refrigerator about not keeping your food cold enough.

I see you don't have a lot of respect for your refrigerator. I certainly expect a more intelligent response from my refrigerator that I would from the commentariat

Anonymous said...

Spokey's latest triumph has been overshadowed by this controversy. Suck shit, Spokey.

dop said...

little late to the discussion (busy here)...but if a woman is displaying her boobs I don't catcall...that's the surest way to make sure they're quickly covered...I discreetly observe & try not to stare..one advantage of bifocals is that I can keep eye contact through the upper half of the lens, but only the view through the lower half is in focus when I'm in chatting distance

Spokey said...

Genevieve said...
They definitely bring out . . . stupidest in people.


i represent that

flank_steak_and_cheese said...

A bike could be right or left hand drive.

I see some single-speed geniuses who figured this out and went ahead and did it in my urban archipelago.

What happens to the wrong pedal seizing? Breaks something in your body instead of loosening off the crank. What happens to the right pedal? Loosens when you pedal the bike.

There are other things these geniuses didn't plan for in their quest for radical differentiation.

Being in the bike industry did this to me. Save me Genevieve!

babble on said...

LOL! Guilty as charged, Spokey, on all counts. This mad, mad mind is trying to deny that gawdawful time.

Spokey said...

Anon @5:09 PM

I need no earthly accolades. I'm comforted knowing almighty Lob answered my prayer.

Anonymous said...

I chose to exercise my right to remain silent in this matter, and urge others to follow my example.

Spokey said...

just trying to keep you on the straight and narrow babs. Knowing of course if you veer off the path, it'll be back hospital for more gravel picking

Anonymous said...

Flanks 5:15,

Could you expand on your middle paragraph about wrong cranks and breaking bodies and loosenings?

I really have no idea what you're saying, but it sounds intriguing.

Thanks.

Anonymous said...

"What happens to the wrong pedal seizing? Breaks something in your body instead of loosening off the crank. What happens to the right pedal? Loosens when you pedal the bike."

Note Mr. Brown solved this by using a 170 mm Sugino AT Tandem crank, designed for the left side:

http://sheldonbrown.com/org/gunnar/pages/gunnar-asc05.htm

Anonymous said...

Anon 5:24,

Aw, what is this, some secret order of bicycle mechanics?

Someone please explain what you're all crapping on about.

Is it something to do with the differing distance the BB extends from either side?

commentatorbot_french_toest said...

I'm with dop on this b00bs matter. No catcalls. Ever.

Babble brings up a very good point. Few think twice about regularly witnessing extreme violent behaviour in games and on the tele or whatever. Show a perfectly natural pair of b00bs and suddenly there's a problem.

GoogleSheldonBrownForABetterAnswerBOT9000 said...

"Is it something to do with the differing distance the BB extends from either side?"

Yes but you can flip the BB axle around so the left side extends far enough to fit the chain ring on.

The bigger problem is the threads that screw the pedals into the end of the crank arms are cut in opposite directions; if they were not at least one pedal would unscrew as you pedaled. And generally the right side crank is permanently attached to the chain ring or spider, so to get the chain ring on the left you have to use the right crank arm on the left and vice versa. And as you pedal the pedals unscrew.

A few obscure crank designs allow you to flip the chain ring but keep the cranks on the correct side:

http://www.shopbuy.org/static/category/original/bicycle-cranks/6612033-0-large.jpg

http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NDE2WDU3Mg==/z/sB0AAMXQnYJQ~E8z/$T2eC16FHJG8E9nyfmG(PBQ+E8zTqBg~~60_35.JPG

Flyover BC said...

Roille, I disagree, there are many more levels than pre-teen boy.

There is teenage boy, which is a preteen with extra hormones.

There is the post-adolescent man, which is a pre-teen with only slightly less hormones than the teenager, but a lot more opportunities. * This level can last well into maturity.

Then there is the mature male, which is a preteen with lot less hormones, achy everything, but still with opportunities and motivation.

I don't what level comes next cause I'm not there yet. But, based on my father and grandfather's behavior, I'd say it is the dirty old man level, which is like a preteen, without many opportunities, but hey, the dream's still alive.

There is the

crosspalms said...

I'lll have to watch some Bicycle Repair Man clips before I weigh in on the left-hand-drive debate.

But the no-catcalling is a no-brainer. Genevieve, Babble, my daughters, my wife, everybody deserves to be able to ride unbothered no matter what they choose to wear.

Anonymous said...

"...problem is the threads that screw the pedals into the end of the crank arms are cut in opposite directions; if they were not at least one pedal would unscrew as you pedaled. "

Ahh! Of course.

Thanks, GSBFABABOT9000.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Spokey, if your refrigerator is running, you had better go catch it!

Anonymous said...

The most amazing thing in the Taco Bike video isn't the young woman's breasts, it's the fact that she's still alive after holding up traffic as long as she/they did to make their stupid KS vid. That Jeep behind her was moving in for the kill at a couple points, and I commend the driver for showing a great deal of restraint. Same for the other video, with a whole gaggle of idiots riding right down the middle of the road. Could exposed cleavage leads to a greater sense of entitlement?

babble on said...

Crosspalms - right? Or not wear...

flank_steak_and_cheese said...

Note Mr. Brown solved this by using a 170 mm Sugino AT Tandem crank, designed for the left side:

Of course he did! He's Sheldon Brown so of course it's done The Right Way.TM

But, that's not what the cool people are doing. They are just flipping right-side drive around and to be different. It's not like pedals seize all the time and 99% of people over-tighten pedals anyway.

Anon, don't think about it too much. Just read the Brown article and have faith it is correct.

Again, I blame the bike industry for knowing this level of minutia.

Anonymous said...

"Genevieve, Babble, my daughters, my wife, everybody deserves to be able to ride unbothered no matter what they choose to wear."

Yes of course.

But apparently you can't mention breasts in a bicycle blog; that is "beyond irritating."

But if Ms. G reads "this blog daily because I think it's funny" she is apparently OK with the daily joke about male body parts (mentiond by crosspalms above.)

Anthropologist Kommentator said...

Boobs are unique to human females. No other species has anything quite like them. They send the signal to males that the female is mature and probably receptive.

Signal received loud and clear.

Flyover BC said...

I thought the cool people are creating left side drives, because they are too dumb to realize that the flip-flop hub can be flipped to the other side.

Genevieve said...

To Anthropologist Kommentator, try again.
"They send the signal to males that the female is ... probably receptive."

Hahahaha. No, dude, they really, really don't.

Anthropologist Kommentator said...

Genevieve,

your point is well taken. And you are apparently my ex-wife.

Despite your nom de keyboard,
I should have known you at your first post, based on the level of personal offense you expressed.

dop said...

OK, I was talking about a mere boob display...now signalling is a different matter...if someone's boobs are 'talking' to me, I might sprinkle the conversation with something simple, like, "excuse me, your headlights are on...(usually the boobs weren't talking to me, it was just cold)

Roille Figners said...

Correction: Slight correction, they "send a signal" that the female is mature and capable of producing milk for baby humans. That's the killer app for tits.

An analogy: Shit doesn't "smell bad," it just smells the way shit smells. Early humans who thought shit smelled awesome and tasted great, were selected out of the breeding pool. So now, shit "sends a signal" of "stay away from this stuff."

Tits, same thing, but opposite.

Doug Tastic said...

Irritating ofay flaunts teets, makes bad music, rides bikes thru crowds of invisible black people, since Brooklyn has none?

Some Quebecois troll- not Genevieve Jeanson, surely, though I actually think she was largely a victim- plays ersatz ethicist?

I bet she's not a Godard fan either.

la course en tits,

xoxodt

Doug Tastic said...

Irritating ofay flaunts teets, makes bad music, rides bikes thru crowds of invisible black people, since Brooklyn has none?

Some Quebecois troll- not Genevieve Jeanson, surely, though I actually think she was largely a victim- plays ersatz ethicist?

I bet she's not a Godard fan either.

la course en tits,

xoxodt

Flyover BC said...

Well said Roille.

But I'm afraid Leroy's dog's is preparing his response.

I know what my dog would say, at least when he's helping me "clean up" after the cats.

rural 14 said...

Genevieve - complete bullshit double standard - women exploit the currency of attraction to raise their profiles but then are “surprised” when there is a reaction. No, not victim blaming / slut shaming or whatever the current term is. And yes, it comes from a less powerful social position - “this is what I have to use to get ahead”. But it’s no different than that dirtbag [former] Pres of American Apparel who used to beat off in front of interviewees and then was ‘shocked, shocked i tell you’ when people were suprised and upset. If one is going to be out and about in an intentionally provocative way, then one has to expect some reaction; especially when posting a music video, where sexual allure is historically used for attention. And this is not “she was asking for it” - what is the appropriate reaction - “nice eyes?” [Setting aside what one thinks about the music].

There is a big middle ground between asking for attention cleavage, and a burka. And unfortunately, context is important; on a beach, cleavage, fine; on the street…less so.

If you see a man walking up the street who “forgot” to put on trousers…what’s the reaction? Nice shirt? No, it’s that his cock is hanging out. Whether or not that is alluring is another story (and of course because of gender politics, it’s a different message (and not it’s not alluring because our culture does not say it’s alluring, except in certain neighborhoods)). But as far as it being something done to assert power / make a point / get attention…no different. And no less explotative.

At my job which is not unlike that of a maitre d’, I deal with women who are constantly using their [alleged] allure to gain priority or access. Eyes up all the time, yet every once in awhile we’ve had to deal with, “you were looking at my legs” or whatever - it’s an impossible thing to deal with until the cultural standards of what is attractive change. What IS attractive is women who can run across the street like a tiger, not totter around like a poleaxed little girl. And that’s why women as athletes is so powerful. There’s your bigger struggle - why not take it to the fashion world, which runs articles on how we should be proud of our bodies alongside the best Botox treatments to get when you’re 30 years old & etc. That you won’t be beautiful if you have wrinkles and natural hair. In my 6 decades here (greetings earthlings) I’ve witnessed the incredible shift toward the increased power of women (yay) alongside the increased “feminine” attributes one needs to advance. “Lean In” is rather clueless.

Change comes from within.

Peter G said...

Gene ieve, I know how you feel. I am a 250 lb male cyclist. Once, long ago, my ass clad in lycra, I was approached from behind by a cad in the
passenger seat of a toyota. He spanked me and told me I had a nice ass. I told him I was flattered, but I really felt objectified.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Genevieve, yes, they really, really do, especially where the nipple is located precisely 19 cm from the sternal notch, a preference that cultural anthropologists have noted to span different races and cultures.

Don't even get me started on the perfect hip-to-waist ratio of 0.7 as a universally-recognized sign of fecundity.

Flyover BC said...

Peter G,

disturbing and hilarious

Roille Figners said...

Snob is strangely quiet with all the feministy critique. He is either at the other end of a 10-foot pole, shuttling his 17 children around, or it's the subject of tomorrow's post.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Genevieve, it is all in our reptilian brain, buried well below the level of conscious thought, and alas, also immutable.

Genevieve said...

wishiwasmerckx, that is absolutely fascinating! Thank for sharing that stunning, and utterly new-to-me, bit of information. I had never before heard that there is a biologically determined component to physical attraction.

Are there any studies on how truly fucking clueless one would have to be to believe in the false equivalency between a woman in a scoopneck top and a man wearing no pants? Has any science been done to explain why, when some people see a woman whose body they find attractive, are repelled by, or otherwise have feelings about, it's not possible for them to simply...shut. the. fuck. up?

I would love to know! Thanks again for teaching me so much.

Roille Figners said...

Well to be fair, showing off your tits, and catcalling, are both learnable (or unlearnable) conscious behaviors. In another time and place they were both condemned as vulgar. Now people are duped into it just by virtue of living in a decadent society that's 90% shite.

HAVE A NICE DAY

Fred the herpetologist said...

Reptiles have no boobs, not even ovoviviparous reptiles.

WhatYouSeeDependsOnWhereYouLookBOT9000 said...

"Genevieve, it is all in our reptilian brain, buried well below the level of conscious thought, and alas, also immutable."

If that we true why do men who live in cultures where all the women are topless all the time ignore breasts? Why did men in Victorian England the the US go berserk when they saw an female ankle?

Also what is the evidence people have a "reptilian brain"? Our blood chemistry is not "reptilian" why should we think our brains are?

Anthropologist Kommentator said...

Genevieve,

yep, you're my ex alright. Why oh why, of all the women in my life, were you the only one to tell me to put on some pants, instead of take them off?, not counting my Mom, of course.

Please dearheart, everyone is so much happier when you stay on your meds.

Fred the Herpe-tologist said...

Every species has a medulla oblongata.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Not literally reptilian, numbnuts. there are evolutionary "layers," if you will, in the brain from brain stem, the situs of breathing and swallowing, to cerebral cortex, home of higher thought and emotion.

Current scientific thought is that much of our rote thinking occurs at the reptilian brain level of evolution.

Spokey said...

Also what is the evidence people have a "reptilian brain"?

in my case, it's my penchant for sticking two fangs in to eggs and sucking out the contents

Anthropologist Kommentator said...

Since boobs and higher order mental processes occur only in humans, there is clearly co-evolutionary development. Maybe it's just nutritional, but I'm not convinced.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Genevieve, I also believe that cultural anthropologists have demonstrated that shrill, bitchy women wind up as barren spinsters.

Blog Drafter said...

An old girlfriend referred to her boobs as "bags of chicken fat with squirters on top." I've never thought of them the same since. Really, all bodies are unattractive, we spin attractiveness in our heads.

the commentariat said...

All of this talk about boobs is making me hungry...to suckle upon Genevieve.

Spokey said...

Every species has a medulla oblongata

I've looked and looked and looked and still can't find that in either my pet paramecia or amoeba.

I believe I've found it in my refrigerator but he denies it.

Blog Drafter said...

I believe the triumph ate the sandwich.

Fucking autocorrect!

I believe the theory of the triumvirate brain has been largely discredited. It was a nice theory for a while but actual research, which wasn't available when the theory came out (Koestler) hasn't revealed any mechanisms in human brains to support it.

Anonymous said...

A 10% increase in traffic, if it brings the total past a critical point, could shut down transit - or at least result in a doubling of driving time. It's the old straw that broke the camel's back kind of thing...

Fred the Herpetologist said...

You are correct Spokey. Not even all the cordates have medulla oblongata.

I clearly spoke too soon.

Genevieve said...

wishiwasmerckx, you are a class act! No doubt it is your study of cultural anthropology that has made you so suave, as well as so interesting. You may need to brush up on your math a little, though, as I think you would find a 0.7 "hip-to-waist" ratio somewhat different than you imagine. But I expect you have not seen all that many actual naked women, so who knows what you have in mind!

Thank you so much for your concern about my procreative health and my marital status. At the moment I am not facing any problems with either, but I appreciate your concern, and moreover, your overall gallantry, which has certainly undermined assumptions about whether I as a woman suffer disproportionately from being sexually objectified or dismissed on the basis of my gender. My reptilian brain really has some thinking to do!

And now I'm off to ride home and, as I am wearing what can only be described as totally slutty leggings and a T-shirt, which I am afraid signal unmistakeably that I have breasts, a waist, legs, and some arms and other stuff, I can only hope that the men of my fair city will display the kind of respect that has been exemplified here today.

Running across the street like a tiger,
-G

1904 Cadardi said...

I was out for a ride with my girlfriend the other day. It was really hot, she was wearing a sportsbra and a jersey that was almost fully unzipped. A girl riding the other way pointed at her boobs and said "Oh HELLS yeah!"

So, ummm, there's that.

(I wanted to high five the girl but that would be encouraging of objectifying behavior and as a somewhat and/or occasionally enlightened male I would not do that.)

Anthropologist Kommentator said...

Science always takes a beating when it confronts emotion.

Fred the Herpetologist said...

"Science always takes a beating when it confronts emotion"

Sort of like in the old BC comic strip, when Fat Broad was always beating the snake. I always felt sorry for the snake.

Spokey said...

whew

glad G has left the room. Those comments were much too long to read although she did have a couple good points about wiwm.

If she only knew how he has sucked recently in the century sprint.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Dearest Genevieve, I write to inform you of how deeply relieved I am to learn that you find me classless and neither suave nor interesting, because if I were to attract romantic attention from the likes of you, I would shoot myself in the dick for sure.

Anonymous said...

FRONT RACKS

Spokey said...

wiwm

good scope on that rifle?

hope you don't feel objectified by the above.

Anthropologist Kommentator said...

Ah yes, the BC comic strip was instrumental in encouraging my interest in anthropology.

If I remember correctly BC invented the wheel and unicycle, apparently with a freehub.

Cipollini said...

aayy, I was late to arrive today. Only I could treat Genevieve the way a real man treats a woman of her sensitivity.

Fred the Herpetologist said...

Whatever Cipo. Anyway, she'll learn how the free clinic treats a woman of her sensitivity after your through with her.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 7:38pm,

I could very well be wrong but my guess is Portland is more than a 10% increase away from that breaking point.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

All I have to add is

Nice Tits!

And

Fat bottom girls you make the rocking world go 'round

ouabacher said...

http://www.mensundies.org.uk/fyta-deep-v-t-shirts/

McFly said...

My girl wears this one shirt when we cycle. I love that shirt.

Fred of the Sea said...

I have no standing here, but I, for one, have taken a bit of a shine to Genevieve, who gives about as good as she gets, although pitifully outnumbered, and shows the rudiments of humor. I hope she comes back for more abuse.

Spokey said...

180

maybe a double sprint tonight

Thanks G. Couldn't get that double without you


robot's comment is right on reprobate wciase. He may have a point

AthrithmaticBOT9000 said...

"...as I think you would find a 0.7 "hip-to-waist" ratio somewhat different than you imagine."

24" waist and 34" hips,
24/34 =0.7058

Rare but not unknown.

Holy Roller said...

Remember all you sinners that God created breasts. Blessed be all God's creations.

Fred of the Sea said...

She also gave nipples to men, proving she has a sense of humor.

Spokey said...

i had not watched the circles nor the taco bike before.

I made it through the taco bike first but weakened about a minute into the AK and had to stop.

Hard to believe I went back and re-watched the laura video to regain my equilibrium.


my refrigerator was inisose but says it will OK and ready for thirsty thursday

McFly said...

Slutty leggings are the new fuck me boots.

Spokey said...

huh

flutty beggings are the new suck me loots?

Matt said...

Alexandra sure has some nice tits but her lip syncing sucks and her continuity needs work, she can't seem to remember whether sunglasses are up or down.

Diggity What! said...

Yes, people have bombed those plastic electric kid cars. Yay Zoobomb! <3 u boo

Anonymous said...

ACTUALLY! A guy was banned this summer for trying to ride his car with the rest of the group. He tried to pass people n shit. It was not cool. 86'd!!

caityc said...

To babble on: are you kidding me? You’re trying to convince us that your brain actually functions and you believe catcalling is 1) intended as some kind of compliment and should be taken as such, 2) only perpetrated on some unique class of beautiful women and incited by an honest appreciation of a woman’s “stunning good looks,” as if it’s some kind of flirting, and 3) invited by the clothes a woman wears? If those idiotic statements didn’t just knock out your credibility, I’m not sure giggling at tit jokes is going to salvage it. In case you can engage some logic and independent thought for a few seconds, let me throw something ‘atcha. Catcalling isn’t flirting, or complimentary, or born of some lovelorn surrender to a woman’s overwhelming beauty, it’s a form of aggressive sexual harassment pelted at women from the safety of a swinging dick and anonymity, when women are not just riding their bikes in their bikinis, but also when they are running errands with their families, headed home from the gym, walking to CVS to get cold medicine, walking back from the bus stop late at night, wearing sweatpants and a parka, or any other fucking myriad of circumstances when women are minding their own business, trying to exist in the world without being hammered by objectification at every turn. Shouting, “NICE ASS, WHERE YA FROM?!” from a moving car isn’t a human interaction, it’s not flirting, and it’s not a compliment, because it BY DEFINITION enforces the fact that the speaker sees the ass as an object to be barked at and doesn’t give a fuck about whose ass it is: it is a one-sided, bullying move from a chickenshit moron. And let me share some more experiences with you – because I’m sure you see that little gem as a lovely compliment. Instead of “Nice ass,” and “Marry me!” in the sunshine on the sidewalk there’s the standby, “Ooooh, sugar I bet that cunt tastes sweet,” or “Mhm, I wanna fuck you till you scream!” or just the old classic slurping/sucking sound or hissing, which are some particular favorites.
And FYI, if any of you fucking idiots really believe that women who wear bikini tops, or whatever the fuck they want while biking are “inviting” catcalls and tit jokes, get back to me next time you read about rape statistics in countries where women wear full-body dresses every day, or don’t leave the house alone except to shit at night, and get raped on the way. Guess what? Sexual harassment and assault aren’t invited, and a woman’s sexiness is not to be blamed for getting violated and harassed at every turn. Women are people, not pairs of tits and a cunt on legs to shout at what you wish. People like to wear the clothes they like to wear, to do the activities they want to do, even if it’s riding a bike and singing a dumb song, and if they could care less about “supportive” or “proper” undergarments, you can go fuck yourself. Or “appreciate” their “stunning good looks” in your fucking head, so they don’t feel like the threatened, devalued objects of your unimaginative, dull minds every second of their fucking lives. Or, if you’re going to justify your assholery with fallacious concern for this woman’s ethical choices in “selling sex” or smoking J’s or not wearing a sportsbra, because everyone here knows you morons touting ethics is about as discrete as taking a shit in a glass elevator. We can all fucking see you.

RoadQueen said...

Um. Well. Pleasant mammories?

David Pearce said...

I guess this must have been mentioned by some sharp-eyed person before me, but it appears that the left-foot drivetrain is just a bit of photographic happenstance, either by accident, or on purpose.

You can see, at about 00:32 seconds, that her drive is right-footed, just like all the other hipsters with her. (I don't say right-handed, because we mostly don't peddle with our hands.)

And you can also see a 2:+ ? minutes, 2:30, sorry too much adult beverage to remember exactly where it is. But if you watch closely, you'll see it.

caityc said...

Anthropologist Kommentator, the average age for breast development in the US is currently 9-10 years old, with an average age of menstrual onset at 12.5. If you don’t know a goddamn thing about biology, and believe that tits=sexual receptivity, or if you belong in jail, please keep typing. Yes, breasts are pretty. Lots of men like them. Our biology alone does not determine our ethics and is not deterministic of our behavior. Just because sexual attraction is natural doesn’t mean we don’t observe behavioral ideas and rules that orchestrate something more sophisticated than capturing and force-fucking the mate of our choice, as is the case in much of the animal kingdom. Maybe it’s time to take another anthro class?

David Pearce said...

Re: AK,

You actually can see it perfectly well from 0:00 to 0:07 that the drive is on the usual side.

Pudendum Spots! said...

Guinevere,

How many black people live in Brooklyn, currently, more or less?

Wee hint: it's greater than the TOTAL population of Portland

Thanks.

dancesonpedals said...

snob-

will you look at that..190+ comments...all because of a few coy displays of titties...and more women joined in the comments than ever...not just RQ & bable..hadn't heard from rustyred in ages hello caity & to that gen really drove the comments..you considered changing the blog's name to BIKESNOBTITTIESNYC?

David Pearce said...

�� "Oh, Genevieve,/
Sweet Genevieve,/

Where were you when my youth was sold?/

Oh, Genevieve,/
Sweet Genevieve!/

Can't I be young before I'm old?!" ��

caityc said...

wishiwasmerckx: Sounds like you’re trying really hard to sound educated and sophisticated, but identifying one of the…what…3 female commentors on a male-dominated, utterly homogenous, predictably sexist thread as “shrill [and] bitchy” because she disagrees with you and threatening her with spinsterhood as the most negative outcome your limited mind can achieve for a woman (because, alas! All we hope for is a man to complete us!) does nothing but reveal a boring, trite, caricature of an overcompensating jerk who hates women – but not, of course, their bodies. Which you love and lavish compliments on, right? I’m pretty sure the phallic area of your sensory cortex has hypertrophied and grown aggressively into your reptilian brain, because you sound like a huge dickhead. Too bad your actual phallus can’t match it.

crosspalms said...

caiytyc, Might be a good time to go back and read the original post, rather than conflating the posts, the comments, the counter-comments, and the voices in your head about the posts/comments.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

200

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