Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Ramping Up For Wednesday

With the summer gradually winding down, I'm making like an industrious little squirrel and gathering my nuts:



I don't mean I'm taking care of my responsibilities or anything like that.  P'shaw!  As if!  No, what I mean is I'm putting my cyclocross-style bicycle into something resembling rideable condition and scoping out my fall riding routes, which is how I spent yesterday afternoon:


See, with every passing day autumn draws nearer, and with every passing autumn I'm that much closer to the grave.  Therefore, I've got to make every ride count!  Grim death is my wheelsucker.  In fact, I'm pretty sure he rides along with me in my saddle bag--which, as you can see, is a big one:


Fortunately, from where I live it's a short ride to this, which is where I headed yesterday:


As you follow this bucolic trail northward, it evolves subtly but never changes direction or unduly challenges the rider--sort of like listening to The Byrds:


Then I cut over onto this paved trail:


Where I rode past some ponds and shit:


And finally came to a network of fairly non-technical mountain bike trails:


Complete with adorable wooden bridges:


I then knocked around on the trails for awhile, but not for too long, because I have a terrible sense of off-road direction and couldn't risk getting lost.  Granted, you can't get all-day lost in a park like this, but you can get 20-minutes-lost, which ordinarily is no big deal, but on a weekday is more than enough to make me late for picking up my kid at the iPhone factory, where he glues touch screens onto phones with toxic solvents.

So I left the park and turned back towards home right on schedule, and I even had enough time to take this Anti-Velominati bicycle portrait in front of a deli:


I think I managed to cover everything:


In fact, I may very well establish a strict non-drivetrain-side-only photography rule on this blog.

Of course, I would have had a much easier time with that deli shot if only I'd had one of these:



That's right, someone has finally brought clipless pedal technology to leaning your bike against the wall:


Hey, look, I don't give a shit what kind of plastic crap you screw into your own walls at home, but for chrissake leave the goddamn trees out of it, okay?


I mean really, is this so hard?


I think next time I ride those trails I'll put plastic anchors on all the trees just in case I need to stop and take a leak.

But the best thing about this invention is that two Freds can finally dock their bikes together:


Isn't that cute?


Now they can go chase the weasel that's been nibbling at their bar tape.

Lastly, here's a triathlete doing what they do best, by which I mean riding right into another rider for absolutely no discernible reason:


Maybe he was trying to do engage his Fred bike-docking system.

114 comments:

Anonymous said...

scroty yum!!!

chunkylover said...

Schwinng

PotbellyJoe said...

Podio? Podius?

Anonymous said...

first? prague

mikeweb said...

Kuku-ka-choo

Anonymous said...

Where's the triathelete?

babble on said...

Mmm nuts. I love nuts. What the cookie moster is to cookies I am to nuts.

Dave - Everywhere said...

Podi-oh-doh!!

babble on said...

Monster. I am the nut monster.

Freddy Murcks said...

Too late for the podium, but early for the weed. I win.





grrora and

Serial Retrogrouch said...

pack fodder

Anonymous said...

"Lastly, here's a triathlete doing what they do best, by which I mean riding right into another rider for absolutely no discernible reason:"

wasn;t he looking down the whole time?

his stupid camera was, at any rate

wle

Freddy Murcks said...

Apparently, Babble's had more nuts in her mouth than a chipmunk. She loves nuts.




the featyae

Roille Figners said...

Wow, I turn my back for 5 minutes...

ken e. said...

off the back.

o'bama said...

you didnt create that blog

dancesonpedals said...

lost 10 places watching the vid

Spokey said...

Lanterne Rouge

Flyover BC said...

the try-athlete didn't crash for no reason. As usual, he was hypnotized from looking at his front hub for too long, i.e. ever since he got on the bike

trama said...

Sharing...end plugs...er...is nothing new out here in the land of the epic brito wcrm. especially in the woods.

Comment deleted said...

"Death is my wheelsucker."

I'd almost consider that for my first tattoo.

Spokey said...

1

as a multi-decade official tree hugger i also object.

Spokey said...

2

and what am I supposed to do with my bar end shifters?

Spokey said...

3

ok so if i'm riding with another click-sucker i click into the other bike, hoping it doesn't get pregnant, and i'm fine. And what the fuck do i do when solo?

and whatever mcfly says, the answer is no otherwise my bike will go blind.

babble on said...

OMG! The nut monster loves to play chase the weasel, too. You're speaking straight to my heart today, snobberdooders.

Who films their front wheel? Note to tri-dork self: always watch where you are going. Specially when you're going fast.

McDuh.

Anonymous said...

You could click it to a car!

Spokey said...

Tri-athlete?

Not with those aero bars. They look like those dorky Profile Design Airstryke ones I have on my touring bikes.

Dave said...

Hey Miss Babble - regarding criticism of your blog - "certain family members" should stifle themselves. I wish someone would tell me to discontinue my blog, so I could hit them with "Like it or lump it, fella." and so forth.

balls™ said...

Death, is my ball-sucker.

crosspalms said...

That ride looks like a lot of fun. Makes me want to get off the paved paths I ride.

Weasels Nibbled My Bar Tape is the Muzak version of Zappa.

DB said...

The Byrds.

That's really good, WRM.

Anonymous said...

looks like a nice trail. OCA?

Roille Figners said...

Anybody who wants to shut down your blog is hiding some sort of evildoing and therefore needs to be all-the-more-fully exposed.

DB said...

Hey, DOP:
Meet you at that pond for a swim.

David Pearce said...

Seems to me you could leave one spare inner tube at home? Two spare tubes plus a patch kit is a little overkill, no?

Speaking of overkill, the space freed up by only bringing one spare tube could be used for, say, a larger, more luxurious ultimate demise, or perhaps even an inflatable coffin, or a bar tape do-it-yourself mummification kit?

Anonymous said...

The triathlon video led to a youtube link for a "Crash Course in Triathlon Training" here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyFv1sKaNbo

Wo-hoo!

Spokey said...

as for the blog,

a babs has to do what a babs has to do.

My initial reaction would be to ask the person why they don't like me given a blog generally reflects the writer.

But then again, maybe if the person offered babs a case of nuts the blog will be gone tonight

BikeSnobNYC said...

David Pearce,

No, it is not.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

I'm now in the 2 spare tubes population. Last time I flatted it was on a pothole I hit when I was worried about the pickup truck not giving me enough room. Well, he gave me enough room to go straight through that pothole. 2 pinch flats, 2 tubes, I was OK, with 2 spares, but there are no 700x23 presta tubes for sale in Boulder Creek in case I'd found glass on the way over the hill home. (Actually I told the hardware store they should stock them, but have not been back.

BamaPhred said...

Snob always has the best looking places to ride. My routes are like my skills, they both suck. Uumm, what is the tooth count on the chain rings?

McFly said...

I do hate it when I lean my bike up against something and it does that awkward twist fall and I am all OMGTHECABLES OMGTHECABLE OMGTHECABLES!!!!!

David Pearce said...

Ok. I hadn't thought about a double-flat incident, or I suppose a really bad luck day with two separate flat incidents.

I stand informed. ��

leroy said...

Oh I am so getting a bicyclick for my dog and me.

Next time he demands a lead out, he can just clip in.

And I'm tired of him head butting me in the shoulder when he pretends to sprint.

(My dog asked me to tell mikeweb @12:58 "gesundheit." I've got no idea what he means by that.)

Anonymous said...

mid pack fod

der

gee business said...

Laugh about the kuku penthouse all you want. For Freds who are hung heavy and pendulous such as myself, this bit of kit is a life saver.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...yes, today one flew over the kuku' penthouse.

Nob Rakes said...



http://i.imgur.com/CAmQNBw.gif

DB said...

Sharknado 3 headed for Hawaii today.

grog said...

You only got 3, protect them.

babble on said...

Mmm big red nuts...

Thank you, Spokey, Dave et Roille. Merci beaucoup. I had just come to the conclusion that despite thier claims to have my best interests at heart, I simply can't follow thier advice It feels so wrong.

babble on said...

Leroy - yer dog oughtta be careful with his headbutting habit. He might find himself landing hard on said head. Never mind his shoulder. And dogs, unlike cats, actually have a collarbone to break. He might not like that.

McFly said...

I carry almost the exact items in my scranus bag. I also carry a $10 bill and 8 oz. of self-loathing.

Roille Figners said...

Your best interests at heart = "concern troll"

The King of Park Slope said...

Chain tool and links?

You really do want to be the AMA truck of the bicycle world.

Roille Figners said...

I figure the patch kit takes the place of as many tubes as there are patches in it. Unless it's freezing cold out or you're pissed off, drunk or in a hurry, which is what the one spare tube is for.

dancesonpedals said...

people thought my saddle bag looked too scrotal..now i have an old nylon folding first aid kit...I threw out the bandaids & carry multitool, 2 co2 cartridges, a patch kit & second hex wrench (a T with 3,4,5 mm to hold the other side of bolts)..keep it in center back pocket of my fred shirt..1 inner tube on side..

flanksteak_con_queso said...

Snob,

You ARE GOING TO DIE without dick breaks.

I'm not sure why you value your life so little when all you need to do is spend $10,000 on a new biek with safe breaks.

I heard they make you go faster too. Something about going slow makes you go faster.

DB said...

McFly, 3:14, early contender COD.

DB said...

McFly, 3:14, early COD.

DB said...

Sorry for the double. G**gle didn't like first try, but must have changed its mind.

Wish I was scranus said...

gee business @ 2:26 claims he is "hung heavy and pendulous." That just means that he has an overactive imagination.

PotbellyJoe said...

I think if you have to have knobs on trees to support your bike, you should just hang it up.

Spokey said...

db

sharknado 3 & 4

Iselle for Friday

Julio a few days later

Peaches flies out there tomorrow for a friend's sat wedding.

Spokey said...

and I agree McFly @ 3:14 for CoD

WIZ !! JAY said...


I didn't see it on the list, and there's definitely no pump on that frame - I have looked close enough to notice Ritchey tires, your willingness to advertise artisinal potato vodka and your love of sports bras, so I take it you are portaging a pump in a jersey pocket per Rule #30? I can in no way imagine you willing to wank any mini pump that would fit in that "scrannier" (insert trademark symbol here) 10,000 times only to get to 30 PSI and limp home. Or maybe there is a pump in there because you are well-accustomed to jamming much larger, linearly-operated sceptors into Lezyne-esque openings? Please for the love of Lob tell me you do not carry only CO2!

Herschel Raney said...

Not sure about all the nut talk.

McFly: The bottom bracket I have is GXP with a 68mm English threading. Apparently gxp stands for giga x pipe which makes me wanna slap someone. Still wanted to use my old SRAM crank for a while longer. CK brackets look nice and should last until I am run over by a tridork watching his wheel spin.

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

wait...I'm supposed to carry a spare tube?
my OWN?
what do I do with it? - particularly if I'm alone.
you don't expect me to...

....really?!!!

how?

Spokey said...

Blogger WIZ !! JAY

obviously some Fred came by with a flat and snobbie is off screen pumping up fred's tire.

Spokey said...

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne

I always carry at least one tube. I can't rely on snobbie to pass by with the proper tube and pump (for snobbie's reference 700x37 presta)

and it's not clear whether snobbie does field work for you unless you can prove you have a strava account( I don't).

Anonymous said...

That's a deli? Wow, you New Yorkers are so sophisticated. In the south we call those convenience stores or gas stations.

DB said...

Hershel: thanks for the book review. It looks good.

My bike satchel has my phone in it. If I have a problem I call my wife to pick me up.

leroy said...

Dear Babs --

Yes, my dog saw the result of Mr. Cavendish's resting his head on Mr. Gerrans' shoulder at the first stage of this year's TdF.

But my dog assures me I needn't worry about him because I'm the one more likely to fall over.

He's considerate that way.

Anonymous said...

Rob Ford and his brother on a teeter-totter:

http://t.co/bZi9Ii3jet

Anonymous said...

I noticed that ball click thing video doesn't show the bikes being unclipped.

Maybe that's stage two?

Anonymous said...

David Pearce,

Don't let Snobby pull the wool over your eyes like that.

The real reason he carries two tubes is because one invariably gets punctured by all that other crap he unnecessarily carries around.

Dooth said...

Plug one, plug two...
Plug bike to tree.

Kal Orie said...

I wonder if he is starting to carry a spare tire around his waist too.

snob's dog said...

ass pennies

Spokey said...

maybe an early sprint?

Spokey said...

80

dop said...

pow

dop said...

pow

dop said...

pow

dop said...

pow

dop said...

pow

dop said...

must take recycling to curb

omen said...

lesstle cankered

it was an omen

Anonymous said...

Awww finally baby bikes!

Spokey said...

DoP

get it straight

recycling was last night

tonight is trash

O'Spokeyman said...

90 bottles of PETE on the wall

Anonymous said...

Every night should be recycling night.

Anonymous said...

90 bottles of HDPE on the wall

O'Spokeyman said...

93 bottles of PVC on the wall

Anonymous said...

I wish to declare I don't use multiple tabs as it's unsporting.

ouabacher said...

Thanks, Babs for the bit of clavicle trivia that I will share at work tomorrow. Though they will all just laugh and say "You'd know, you trivia mongering, orthopedist frequenting DORK!"

Anonymous said...

Anyone who wins using multiple tabs should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves.

Anonymous said...

Multiple tabs are like EPOs.

Spokey said...

97 bottles of LDPE on the wall

dop said...

Babs-

keep the blog, give up mass-start races...they wouldn't dream of calling you a trigeek (rolls eyes)

Spokey said...

100 bottles of scotch on the wall

Anonymous said...

Lutible receptacles

dop said...

it was just a thought

there's more to this sprinting than meets the eye

Anonymous said...

Someone's gaming the system. I got a message saying I couldn't post because somebody else was trying to "edit" the blog at the same time.

That Spokey has always struck me as being a bit of a shifty character.

Spokey said...

sprinting definately does not involve a thought

Spokey said...

I do shift a lot. me old knees can't take mashing anymore so I shit & spin, spin & shift, shift & spin

Spokey said...

but to win the snobbie century i mostly rely on CH3CH2OH

Anonymous said...

"CH3CH2OH"?

What's that, the formula for your performance enhancing drugs?

I demand an inquiry!

Spokey is the LA of the Snobby Century.

Spokey said...

absolutely

and the UCI has yet to ban CH3CH2OH

Anonymous said...

That bike stand ad/video is the most Mormon thing I've seen in weeks.
Wow.

Anonymous said...

10-11 speed chains require carrying the chain tool. Sad fact of life in our modern world. If you stick with a 3/32 chain you probably won't need it.

David Pearce said...

7:41 p.m., Aug 5 --

∰ Thank you, & good thinking! ⨕

JB said...

Break a chain in the middle of nowhere; then you'll start carrying a link and tool.

Anonymous said...

'Grim Death is my wheelsucker'.
Man's a Shakespeare!

rsgoldget said...

It's a proof of concept for something that's been four years in the making.?Xenia's project page is here but Vanik is not releasing any executable of the emulator."The goal of this project is to experiment, research, and educate on the topic of emulation of modern devices and operating systems," Vanik writes. "
Buy Runescape Gold

Cheap Runescape Gold